I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize