How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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