No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
