Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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