I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
