dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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