she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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