chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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