I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
