Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
