Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
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Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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