She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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