its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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