No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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