Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize