I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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