After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
