There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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