oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
