tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Randomize
