Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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