I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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