omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You pole danced in your parka.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
