just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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