im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
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