I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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