Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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