No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
