lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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