I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
