I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
