remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
