Where is the hickey?
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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