Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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