I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
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is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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