i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
