everyone is single if you try hard enough
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
