Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
