so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
