So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
