Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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