dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
