Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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