Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Still dying that you shit outside
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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