I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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