In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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