We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
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If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
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Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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