I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
