Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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