kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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