dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
