After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
